Gemotions

The sight of his mother, beaming like a lighthouse, was almost enough to send him over the edge. She had, against all odds, managed to orchestrate a retirement party that was both incredibly formal and utterly absurd.

He bounced on the balls of his feet as he approached the podium. His father, sensing the oncoming storm, tried to subtly signal him to play it safe. He gave him a reassuring nod.

"Okay," he said, the corners of his lips starting to twitch, "Where to start? Thirty-five years. That’s a long time to… not get fired." The audience chuckled. He was just getting warmed up.