Gemotions

The paper crackled under her trembling fingers. He’d left it on the kitchen counter, tucked beneath a half-eaten bagel. It was his bucket list, scrawled in a familiar, messy handwriting. She’d always assumed she knew him, that they were a well-oiled machine of shared desires and comfortable routines.

Reading the words, a coldness spread through her chest. “Learn to surf,” it read. “Hike the Pacific Crest Trail.” “See the Northern Lights.” Nothing on the list involved her. She felt her face burn, a flush creeping up her neck.

She quickly refolded the paper and slid it back under the bagel, her movements jerky and hasty. She busied herself with the dishes, scrubbing furiously, as if the physical act could erase the unwelcome thoughts that swirled in her head. Her jaw was tight, her breath shallow.