Gemotions

It was inside the old photo album, pressed between faded pictures of their honeymoon. I found it while looking for something to do, anything to fill the void. *Travel to Japan.* Eleanor, who always needed me to read street signs. My chest tightened.

I felt a wave of nausea, a dizzying sensation of the floor tilting beneath me. *Learn to play chess.* I always made the decisions. The apartment felt suffocating, closing in around me.

I skimmed the rest of the list. *Write a book.* A fresh wave of despair washed over me. I sat down, my legs giving way, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. I felt a tremendous sense of insecurity. I was alone, adrift.

I closed the album, its weight suddenly unbearable. I wanted to scream.