Gemotions

The world seemed to spin a little slower, the edges of everything blurring. I woke up with a feeling of lead in my limbs. I usually loved the buzz of the morning but this morning I just wanted to go back under the covers. My son, David, was in his room as always. Headphones on. Always on.

I was trying to find a photo from his phone of his pet hamster, something to show my sister. Instead, I accidentally opened his social media app. There it was: a different profile, with pictures of a life I didn't recognize. David, laughing, surrounded by friends, at parties I'd never heard of. The pictures were glossy, vibrant. I felt a coldness wash over me.

I spent the whole day just existing. I ate when I needed to, but the food tasted like cardboard. I answered the phone when it rang, but my responses were clipped and short. I watched TV but the images moved past me without registering. I felt like I was sinking.