Gemotions

"Are you even listening, Liam?" Sarah's voice, usually a cheerful melody, sounded strained. He snapped his attention back to her, forcing a smile that felt brittle on his face. He'd been staring out the window, watching the leaves swirl in the autumn wind. Maya's party – a whole weekend away in a cabin. He'd envisioned his own, a small gathering in his apartment.

He nodded, avoiding eye contact. "Of course." The lie felt heavy on his tongue. He knew he should be excited. But the thought of it, the planning, the forced merriment, left him feeling drained. The anticipation of Maya's event, and the inevitable comparisons to his own, made a hollow space inside him.

His chest felt tight, constricting his breaths. He picked at a loose thread on his jeans. He didn't want to explain why he didn't want to go to the party. He couldn't. The words wouldn’t come. He just wanted to disappear.