Gemotions

The walk home felt excruciating. He clutched the rejection letter, crumpled in his pocket. The city noises faded into a dull roar. His thoughts were a frantic whirl. The editor, whose name was Eleanor, had been the one he’d pinned all his hopes on. He remembered her smile, the way she’d leaned in closer when he spoke. He saw her face everywhere, superimposed on the faces of strangers. He felt the phantom touch of her hand on his, from that one brief handshake at the conference. He felt a sudden, illogical impulse to go back to the publishing house, to just…be near her. He turned around, started walking back, then stopped. He had to calm down.