Gemotions

He was talking to our other friend, Sarah. I saw them laughing together. A familiar feeling of… something… constricted my throat. I excused myself from the group I was with, claiming a sudden headache. I felt the familiar weight of self-consciousness, the sharp awareness of my own perceived inadequacies.

My movements felt jerky and unnatural, as if I were a marionette controlled by invisible strings. I sought the shadows, hoping to blend into the surroundings. I avoided eye contact, afraid of being caught staring, afraid of being seen. My heart hammered against my ribs, an insistent rhythm of anxiety.

I took deep breaths, trying to regain control. I longed to disappear, to be anywhere else. I needed to escape the suffocating presence of memories, the constant reminder of what had been and what was not. I headed outside.