Gemotions

David felt a prickling at the back of his neck as he saw the stream of selfies. His son, Ben, was usually so withdrawn, so quiet. The account showed a different Ben: confident, laughing, surrounded by people David didn’t recognize. He felt a sting, a physical ache in his chest, knowing he was missing some key part of his son's world.

He stood in the doorway of Ben’s room, the door ajar. He didn't want to go in. He felt like he didn't deserve to. He noticed the mess, clothes strewn across the floor, and he felt a cold wave of anxiety. He closed the door slowly. He retreated to his home office, where he started rearranging his bookshelves; a frenzied, futile activity. He wished he could scrub away that image of a happy, thriving Ben, feeling like he wasn't part of it.