Gemotions

The letter lay on the table, casting a long shadow in the afternoon sun. I picked it up, my hands shaking. Addressed to my older brother, who I hadn't seen in years. The handwriting was mine, the words a jumble of emotions I no longer understood. I felt like the world had tilted on its axis, leaving me grasping for purchase.

My head spun, the room swam. I felt an overwhelming need to scream, to run. I didn't recognize the person who wrote this. I wanted to rewind time, to understand the decisions that brought me to this point, but it was just a wish. I went to pour myself a glass of water, spilling some onto the counter, not caring.